Time to Check in With Yourself | How to Self-Assess your Feelings and Emotions at Home

You probably check your oil every month or so just to make sure all is well and keep your car in working order. Even if you don't see an oil leak or smoke coming from your engine, it's still smart to look under the hood every once in a while. You're probably not a mechanic, but any one of us can learn to check the basics.

Taking care of your mental health isn't much different. Getting in touch with your emotions and understanding your feelings can lower your anxiety, encourage healthy behaviors, and steer you toward activities that bring you joy! Learning to self-assess your feelings and emotions is step one. 

Why Self-Assessment Matters

Before we dive into the specifics of how to self-assess your feelings and emotions, let's first explore why self-assessment is so important. 

When we're in touch with our emotions, we're able to manage them more effectively. We can identify triggers that cause us to feel a certain way and take steps to avoid or mitigate them. We can also recognize patterns in our emotional responses and learn how to respond in healthier ways.

That's why you should never ignore your emotions— good and bad. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who accept their unpleasant emotions without judgment are less affected by the ups and downs of everyday life. That's just a fancy way of saying that ignoring bad feelings doesn't work. 

Self-assessment is also a critical component of self-care. When we check in with ourselves regularly, we can catch potential issues before they become serious problems. We can also identify areas where we need to prioritize our self-care and adjust our routine accordingly. 

How to Self- Assess your Feelings and Emotions at Home

Step 1: Create a Safe Space

The first step in self-assessing your feelings and emotions is to create a safe space for yourself. Find a place where you feel comfortable and at ease. This could be a quiet room in your home, a reading nook, or a spot in your garden. There are no limits. 

No judgment if your safe space is inside your parked car in the driveway or even locked in the master bathroom because it's the only calm space in the house. The important thing is that you find somewhere free from distractions and interruptions. Send your partner on an errand, lock your kids in their rooms, fly to Mexico— do whatever it takes (JK, JK..).

Once you've found your safe space, take a few moments to center yourself. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, focusing on the sensation of the air moving in and out of your lungs. As you breathe, allow your body to relax and release some of the tension you're holding onto. Also, drop your shoulders, relax your tongue so it isn't touching the roof of your mouth and uncl ench that jaw, siaterfriend. 

Step 2: Identify Your Emotions

Once you're feeling centered and relaxed, it's time to start identifying your emotions. Begin by asking yourself how you're feeling right now. Are you happy? Sad? Anxious? Frustrated? Try to be as specific as possible in describing your emotions.

If you're having trouble identifying your emotions, try using an emotion wheel or chart. These tools can help you pinpoint exactly what you're feeling and better understand the nuances of different emotions. You can also take this helpful quiz.

Step 3: Dig Deeper

Once you've identified your emotions, it's time to dig a little deeper. Ask yourself why you're feeling the way you are. Is there a specific event or situation that triggered your emotional response?

THIS is the hard part, so be prepared to put in work. If you get stuck, try journaling! Keeping a record of your feelings and comparing that to what's happening in your life will help you put the pieces together. Additionally, the very act of writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them more effectively and gain clarity on what's really going on. Plus, it removes the words and feelings from your body and puts onto a piece of paper. If you're not sure where to start, I've got your back. You can grab 7 free journal prompts from yours truly, right here.

Step 4: Reflect and Respond

Once you get to the root of your emotions, it's time to reflect and respond. Reflect on your emotional response to a given situation and the events that triggered those feelings. 

Have these reactions been serving you well, or are they causing you distress? Is there anything you would or wouldn't do if you could go back in time? Knowing what you know now, how would you handle the situation differently?

Reflection, check. Now respond.

Identifying unwanted emotions in real-time allows you to take action and steer the ship back on course. It could be as simple as taking a few centering breaths or going for a walk. OR it could involve making more significant changes to your routine or environment to reduce stress and improve your emotional well-being.

This Shit Takes Practice

Learning to self-assess your emotions gets a lot easier the more you do it (I promise!). Don't expect to be great at this right away. Honing any worthwhile skill takes practice. Make a self-check-in your new #1 healthy habit.

Being able to self-assess your feelings is essential, but don't forget that we need other people too. Sometimes others can see what we can't. That's why it can be so helpful to talk to a therapist or even a friend when you have a problem. The subtleties of mental health are too big a job to take on alone. Lean on your community! 

Women Out Loud is a community of like-minded women you can rely on. We're all powerful women who face many of the same challenges (emotional and otherwise). Your sisters are here for you, so get in touch to learn more. Be well, friend.